Riatsu – The story behind ‘What Have I Done’

Artwork by Aditya Sankhe for 'What Have I Done'
Artwork by Aditya Sankhe for ‘What Have I Done’

I have always tried to live my life without any regrets. You don’t want to live your life with ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ simply because there is no point to it. There can be ‘n’ number of outcomes to your actions but the one you chose is the one that matters and the best way is to just accept your choice and move on with life. This of course is the ideal situation and its not always that easy. This is the story of the second track of ‘Reminiscence‘.

I was going through a particularly rough patch in life where the negativity had reached such great levels that I was regretting everything that I had done. From rejecting lucrative job offers, to ending a relationship, I also went to the extent of questioning my choice of being part of the music scene. Was probably one of the worse times of my life and I am thankful that I went through it because these moments give you a sense of clarity and it also makes you stronger.

I was really down that day and I got very overwhelmed by my negative thoughts so I decided to divert my mind by continuing the ‘Hannibal’ season 2 that I was in the middle of. Episode 9 was the one I had to watch next. There is a scene in this episode between Will and Hannibal where they discuss to my amazing luck, ‘regret’. Will asks Hannibal if he has any regrets, to which Hannibal replies that “with every choice lies the possibility of regret”. They go on to have a very metaphorical conversation. This moment was very important to me because it was sort of the universe’s way of telling me that, “its ok, just keep doing what you’re doing.” It brought me out of the negative state of mind, brought a smile to my face and at that very moment I knew that I had to create a song on that feeling of regret.

In that negative state I asked myself one question, “What Have I Done?” and I felt it was the perfect title to this track because it totally defined/described my state of mind at that very moment. The artwork for this track was created by Aditya Sankhe. This is his favourite track from the EP and he was the one who introduced me to ‘Hannibal’. I absolutely love the different textures he has used in this piece.

For anyone who is or might go through such a phase in life, I may not be an expert but try and keep your head down and work your way through it and just remember that times like these are important to experience and they give you a better perspective of life. Don’t let the negativity get the best of you.

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